What does an open relationship actually look like? For one couple, it may mean being intimate with other people while keeping their emotional relationship exclusive. For another, it may include dating or romantic connections with other people. These relationships may also continue over time, outside the primary partnership.
That is why an open relationship can be a confusing term. It does not describe one fixed setup. Couples can set their own boundaries in relationships around intimacy, dating, romance, privacy, and commitment.
These relationships are also more common than some people assume. A study of two U.S. samples of single adults found that 21.9% and 21.2% reported some lifetime experience with consensual non-monogamy. These figures measure past experience, not current participation. They should not be read as saying that one in five Americans are currently in open relationships.
So, are there different types of open relationships? Yes. Open marriages, swinging, polyamory, and monogamish relationships can all look very different. They are also part of the broader world of ethical non-monogamy (ENM). In this article, we’ll explore the main types, how they differ, and what each relationship style may involve. This can help you understand your options before deciding what feels right for you.
An open relationship is a relationship in which partners agree that some form of sexual or romantic connection with other people is allowed. The key is consent. An open relationship is not the same as cheating. The people involved know about the arrangement and agree on its boundaries.
For example, a couple may decide that
There is no single answer. Some couples want more sexual freedom. Others want to date or explore romantic connections. Some prefer to keep outside relationships separate from their shared life.
That is why the meaning of an open relationship depends on the agreement between the people involved. “Open” usually means that some part of the relationship is not exclusive. It does not explain exactly what is allowed. For people exploring dating preferences on Swipe Singles, this difference can be useful. A label can start a conversation, but honest expectations tell you much more about compatibility.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a broad term for relationship structures in which everyone involved knows about and consents to the romantic or sexual connections. Open relationships, polyamory, swinging, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy can fall under the wider ENM umbrella.
A simple way to look at it is ENM is the broader category. An open relationship is one possible form of ENM. The difference becomes clearer when you compare an open relationship with casual dating and serious relationships.
An open relationship may allow outside sex without allowing additional romantic relationships. Polyamory usually allows more than one romantic relationship, with everyone’s knowledge and consent.
For example, a couple may agree that casual sexual partners are fine, but neither person can have another committed relationship. Another couple may be comfortable with both sex and romance outside their main partnership.
Other types of ENM include swinging, monogamish relationships, relationship anarchy, and mono-poly relationships. The details can vary, but the common thread is that the people involved know about and agree to the arrangement.
There are several types of open relationships, and each one can have different expectations, boundaries, and levels of emotional or physical involvement. Understanding these open relationship types can help couples decide which arrangement, if any, fits their needs.
An open relationship is a broad term for a committed partnership that allows some level of sexual or romantic involvement with other people. The boundaries can range from casual encounters to independent dating. Some couples keep outside connections strictly physical, while others are comfortable with deeper relationships.
Example:
Maya and Alex are committed to each other. They can have casual sexual partners, but neither wants another serious relationship.
An open marriage follows the same basic idea within a married partnership. Both spouses choose to allow connections beyond the marriage while maintaining their commitment to each other. The arrangement may include dating, casual sex, or longer-term relationships. Couples may also set limits around who they see, how often they meet, and how much they share at home.
Example:
A married couple decides that either spouse can date other people. They also discuss safer sex, shared time, and what details they want to know.
Public views of open marriage remain mixed. Pew Research Center found in 2023 that 33% of U.S. adults considered open marriages at least somewhat acceptable. That figure rose to 51% among adults ages 18 to 29. These numbers reflect public opinion, not how many people are actually practicing open marriage.
Swinging is mainly centered on shared sexual experiences. Couples may explore with other couples or individuals, often as a joint activity. The focus is usually on sexual variety rather than building separate romantic partnerships. Some couples participate together, while others create more specific arrangements.
Example:
A couple attends lifestyle events and occasionally has consensual sexual experiences with other couples. They do not pursue separate romantic relationships.
Polyamory involves having more than one romantic or loving relationship with the knowledge of everyone involved. Unlike arrangements that focus mainly on sexual freedom, polyamory leaves room for multiple emotional and romantic bonds. These relationships may differ in commitment, time, and closeness.
Example:
Someone has a long-term partner and another committed romantic relationship. Everyone involved understands the situation and is comfortable with it.
This is one of the clearest differences between open relationships and polyamory. An open relationship may allow outside sex, while polyamory specifically makes room for multiple romantic relationships.
A monogamish relationship remains mostly exclusive but allows occasional exceptions. Those exceptions may be limited to specific situations, such as exploring together, attending certain events, or having an occasional outside encounter.
Example:
A couple considers themselves monogamous but has agreed that they can sometimes explore sexually together.
Relationship anarchy takes a less traditional view of how relationships should be organised. Instead of automatically placing one partner above everyone else, people decide what each connection means to them. They may also avoid fixed labels such as “primary” or “secondary.” This approach can give people more freedom to shape relationships around their actual needs rather than expected roles.
Example:
A person has several close connections and decides the level of commitment in each one based on the people involved, rather than following a preset relationship hierarchy.
A mono-poly relationship brings together two different approaches to dating. One partner remains monogamous, while the other has additional relationships. The two people do not have to follow the same dating pattern for the arrangement to work. The challenge is making sure neither person feels pressured to accept something they do not want.
Example:
Chris wants to remain romantically exclusive with Sam, while Sam is comfortable dating another person. They create boundaries that allow both partners to maintain their preferred relationship style.
In a “don’t ask, don’t tell” arrangement, partners permit outside encounters but choose not to discuss many of the details. Some couples prefer this because they do not want to picture or hear about their partner's experiences. Others may find limited information uncomfortable and prefer greater openness. Certain information still matters. Sexual health concerns, safety issues, and major changes that could affect the relationship should not be hidden.
Example:
A couple agrees that each person can have outside sexual experiences without sharing names or personal details. They still keep each other informed about matters related to health and safety.
These models can overlap, but they are not interchangeable. An open relationship often focuses on expanding sexual or dating freedom. Swinging tends to center on shared sexual experiences. Polyamory gives greater space to multiple romantic bonds, while relationship anarchy takes a more flexible approach to relationship roles.
The best way to understand any of these arrangements is to look beyond the label. The real differences come from what partners allow, what they value, and how they choose to organize their relationships.
When comparing open relationships vs polyamory, three questions can help: Is outside sex allowed? Is outside romance allowed? How much hierarchy exists between relationships?
|
Relationship Type |
Outside Sex |
Outside Romance |
Emotional Focus |
Common Structure |
|
Open relationship |
Often |
Sometimes |
Usually centered on the existing relationship |
Couple + outside connections |
|
Open marriage |
Often |
Sometimes |
Marriage often remains central |
Married couple + outside connections |
|
Swinging |
Yes |
Usually limited |
Often couple-focused |
Shared sexual exploration |
|
Polyamory |
Possible |
Yes |
Multiple romantic bonds |
Multiple relationships |
|
Monogamish |
Occasionally |
Usually limited |
Mostly primary relationship |
Mostly monogamous |
|
Relationship anarchy |
Flexible |
Flexible |
Individually defined |
Self-defined relationships |
|
Mono-poly |
Varies |
Varies |
Different relationship preferences |
Monogamous + non-monogamous partner |
These are general patterns, not strict rules. For example, some open relationships allow romance. Some polyamorous relationships have a clear hierarchy. A swinging couple may also form close friendships with other people. The label tells you the general relationship style. The actual agreements explain how it works.
A University of Rochester study found that consensually non-monogamous relationships marked by mutual consent, communication, and comfort showed levels of relationship and individual functioning similar to the monogamous groups in that study. The finding does not mean every open relationship will work well. It shows that the quality of the arrangement matters.
Once you understand the different relationship styles, the next question is practical: What are the rules? There is no universal list of open relationship rules. The boundaries should be clear and agreed upon by both partners.
Common Boundaries to Discuss:
Couples may talk about
These conversations do not need to feel like a contract. The goal is to avoid confusion and set clear expectations.
A couple’s first agreement may not work forever. A casual connection can become more serious. A boundary that once felt comfortable may stop working. One partner may also realize that they want something different. That is why couples may need to revisit their agreements. Consent should also remain genuine. An open relationship should not become something one person accepts only because they fear losing the other.
The best relationship structure is not necessarily the most open one. It is the one that matches the needs and comfort levels of everyone involved. Start with what you want.
Before choosing among the different types of open relationships, ask:
It can also help to separate public opinion from personal choice. Pew found that younger adults were more likely than older adults to see open marriages as acceptable. That does not tell us how many people are actually practicing them.
Online discussions on Reddit can also introduce people to relationship styles they have not considered before. Personal stories can be useful, but they should not be treated as universal advice. For people using Swipe Singles, the same idea applies. Being clear about relationship goals can make it easier to find people with similar expectations.
Understanding the different types is only the first step. Before opening a relationship, partners should communicate about what they expect from the experience.
Ask each other:
These questions may feel uncomfortable at first. That is often a good reason to discuss them early. An open relationship should create more honesty, not less. Both people should be able to speak openly about what feels good, what feels difficult, and what needs to change.
There is no single version of an open relationship. Some couples want occasional sexual exploration, while others are comfortable with dating or romantic relationships outside their main partnership. Polyamory, swinging, open marriage, monogamish relationships, and relationship anarchy can all fall under ethical non-monogamy, but each has a different focus.
The most important thing is not choosing the label that sounds right. It is finding a relationship style that matches what both people want and can genuinely agree to. Clear boundaries, honest communication, consent, and respect matter more than having the perfect name for the relationship.
For people exploring dating and relationship compatibility, Swipe Singles can be part of that process. The best place to start is by understanding what kind of connection you want and what you are comfortable building with someone else.
Find the relationship style that fits you and Download Swipe Singles to connect with people who share your dating goals.
There are several types of open relationships, and each can have different boundaries. Common examples include open relationships, open marriages, swinging, monogamish relationships, and some forms of polyamory. The main differences usually involve sex, romance, emotional connections, and how partners set their boundaries.
An open relationship often allows outside sexual or romantic connections while keeping an existing partnership central. Polyamory usually involves having more than one romantic relationship at the same time. The exact rules can vary, so the label alone does not define how a relationship works.
Common boundaries may cover safer sex, dating other people, emotional connections, overnight stays, privacy, and how much partners share about outside relationships. There is no universal set of open relationship rules. Each couple needs to agree on boundaries that feel comfortable for both people.
Yes. Some open relationships allow romantic connections, while others focus only on sex or casual dating. Couples can decide what level of emotional involvement feels right for them. This should be discussed clearly before either partner develops a new relationship.
Start by thinking about what you actually want. Ask whether you are looking for sexual freedom, romantic connections, or both. It also helps to discuss jealousy, communication, privacy, and boundaries with your partner. The best relationship structure is one that both people genuinely understand and agree to.
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